Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 8 (p 491-560)

The end is so close I can smell it...

Now, non-sequitor, tonight I'm totally going to Union Square to stalk Brandon Sanderson at the Wheel of Time signing (obviously). The Gravity's Rainbow read-along has really made me into a wiser, more efficient person, since I had to coordinate my weekly GR page alotments with re-reading... let's see... about 9,000 pages of Robert Jordan before tonight in order to be prepared for this book release. Seriously, I laugh at college kids who think they got it rough. Phew.

Anyway. Thoughts/feelings/etc, please!!

Writer Question: How Do I Cut Text from My Novel and Not Lose My Soul?!

I got a reader question recently, and (coincidentally) was, um, "approached" by a would-be author at a lit party the other night with a very similar question (although he did not word it nearly as nicely as you did, dear anonymous polite reader below). So it seems to me this is on a lot of people's minds lately.

Dear Moonie,

A newbie (me, unfortunately) is having a bit of an issue with her MS. Cuts need to be made (my darn novel is a porky 130,000 words). But every time I start cutting out my protagonist's funny little comments or thoughts that don't necessarily add to the plot, I feel like I'm betraying and/or losing my beloved character and replacing her with a streamlined, made-for-the-market version of her. On top of that, the only person who's seen my work says that the things I'm cutting really are unnecessary and need to go to make it more "effective."

As someone who's probably dealt with many authors in this dilemma, do you think I'm just being overprotective of my character, or is there merit to my madness? At what point should an author listen to her gut over the advice of more experienced writers?

Best,
XXX

First, dear Newbie, kudos to you for identifying that 130,000 words is probably too long (and not taking affront, like the gentleman I encountered at that event last week, who insisted not a word of his 280,000-word ms was unnecessary). For those who want further discussion re: word count, I refer you here.

Now, Newbie, I identify three separate issues in your question:
1) volume
2) character integrity
3) trusting your gut over advice

I shall address these in order.

First, over-volume. Lots of people write too long--I think it's about 6 times as common as writing too short--so you must not feel alone in this. In almost all of these cases, it's excess wordage in a sentence, not excess plot or excess character development, that leads to the the bulk (or "pork," if I may borrow your word). Unfortunately, whittling writing down to the bare necessities takes a lot of practice and, in 98% of cases, a second pair of (ruthless) eyes who can help point out your personal bulky passages. If you're striking what you see as important material, my question is can you take what's important and say it in fewer words.

Second, character integrity. Here's the thing: you, the author, need to know EXACTLY what your character would do in ANY situation in the ENTIRE universe, known and unknown. You have to know how s/he would react at a disco, riding a camel across the Sahara, abducted by aliens, and with a bad hangover. However, no one else but you needs to know all these details. Creating art is never as much a matter of sharing interesting details as it is a matter of choosing banal details not to tell. Quirky, delightful, and lovable are all great--even if they're not strictly necessary to the forwarding of the plot. So don't cut willy-nilly things you don't *need* for plot. But do cut things that are dear to you because you're so pleased you know them abotu your character, but maybe aren't so dear to anyone else.

As for how the first and second point come together: I would recommend that in any case you see if you can't tighten up some of the "telling" prose to see how many words you can lose on the "natural fluff" that tends to pad most of our manuscripts. Then, ask yourself carefully whether some of these beloved character quotes that you're hurting to cut might be "natural fluff" themselves. Beloved natural fluff we call "darlings," and darlings, alas, MUST DIE!

Most people can't do the darling daignosis all on their own. That's where you ask for help from people whose judgment you trust. Which brings us to #3.

Third, trusting your gut. Well, that sounds like a complicated question that needs some kind of rubric, or at least a checklist. I'm afraid this is a separate post for a separate day! Perhaps next Tuesday.

first authors, first books, first agents, first deals--and avoiding first mistakes

Aprilynne Pike posted this excellent essay this weekend, and I strongly recommend all aspiring authors read it.

The central point: remember what you're writing for, and don't get caught up in the "must get published" fever that has caused more than one person to make a decision that actually hurts their career in the long run.

I've wanted to post something similar myself, but couldn't have done it this well--plus, Aprilynne is uniquely qualified to say it. I hope everyone reads it, and leaves their thoughts if they are so inspired.

argh pet peeve

Dear Agent,

Is this novel you're pitching me *really* "luminous"?

If it is, I simply don't want to read it. I've had it up to my neck with luminosity.

Is the prose "spare" and "elegant"? Or "achingly beautiful," told "with verve and heart"? Is it a "sweeping" saga of "untold passion"? (Wait, what does that even mean?)

If you have nothing but cliches to put in your query letter, how am I supposed to know there's anything new or different about your client's book? Wouldn't it be more useful to show me, briefly, how it's special?

I'll give your client the benefit of the doubt and read it despite your query letter. But really... luminous?

That's all for today.

Love,

Moonrat

PS any other bad book copy people want to have banned? Perhaps we should create an index.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 7 (p 421-490)

Hi everybody! Time for the weekly Gravity's Rainbow chat.

What did everyone think about this week's pages?

for my Wheel of Time friends

This video made me laugh really, really hard.

someone went to the dentist

and had to have six cavities drilled and filled.

I wonder why? Do we believe in causality? Would you say I am being karmically punished for some kind of errant behavior? Because I can't imagine what I might have done to deserve this!

Semi-related. Today is free cupcake day at Kyotofu.

so who else is doing NaNo?

Just curious.

I know it has its pros and cons, and it works for some people at this point in their writing, and just doesn't work at all for others.

You guys have thoughts on NaNo? Oo, how about a poll?

For those who are participating (or have participated) in NaNo, which best describes your goals?

To write a novel and get it published!

To write a draft of a novel, which maybe will go somewhere, maybe not

The daily word goals are just good for me to bully myself into writing; I don't plan to actually finish a whole novel or anything

I just like the cameraderie of writing with other writers; I don't even really care about the word count goals

ugg boots

If you have thoughts not represented in the poll options, please leave them in the comments! It's not a very good poll. Mainly, I wanted to use a poll function, because I haven't in a couple weeks. And I like pressing buttons and seeing pretty colors.

email of the day

To: Moonrat
From: [My assistant]

Subject: CIP data

Dear Moonrat,

Please remember to send me finished manuscripts, in Word document form when possible, when they go into production so that I can apply for CIP data.

Thank you.

[My assistant]

P.S. Here's a baby animal depiction of me trying to get you to send me documents.

Happy Birthday, Aunda

This is my great aunt, who turned 88 yesterday. (She's seated in one of the many antique dens in the RM's father's house at the Father's Day BBQ this year--she would be very affronted if she thought you thought that was HER chair, which is why I'm bothering to tell you.)

Long-timers will recognize the Aunda from some previous posts. She's my favorite. She's a big storyteller as well as a formidable cook (please take the adjective "formidable" as not necessarily uniquely applying to the cooking). My grandmother had a bad accident when I was 5 years old, and has never been the lynch pin of our family (in my memory, at least, but very possibly before, as well). That has always been the Aunda, her sister, who cooks for all the holidays and dutifully passes along everyone's gossip. I think (I think) that at this point in her life she has ceased to regret that, as she might put it, God didn't give her any children of her own, but the rest of us--"us" being my mom's five brothers, their many kids, and now *their* kids--lucked out to have her to ourselves, because we had her to stand in when her sister was unwilling/unable.

I know a lot of people are doing NaNoWriMo, and I've signed up too. My goal isn't to write a novel during November, but it is to put aside time everyday for a month to write down some of the stories she's told me. If I post a little less frequently in November, you'll know why.

I want to know who killed Asmodean, too!!

Here's Harriet talking to Brandon about how he got assigned to write the conclusion. Apparently, he came to her house and she asked him if he wanted some dinner. He was like, "No, I want to know how it ends. How it ends, and who killed Asmodean!" Attaboy.

The Gathering Storm! Today! I'm not sure I'm going to buy one right now, though. I think I'm going to wait until Brandon is signing in NY on November 9.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 6 (p 351-420)

That's right, we're way more than halfway done. It's all downhill from here, I'm sure!

Congrats! Here's a half-toast to half-way!

Thoughts/feelings/etc in the comments as usual! Thanks for making this a team effort.

I'm back!

Tons of catch-up, but looking forward to it.

My assistant must have missed me; she sent me this.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 5 (p 281-350)

Sniff, sniff... Smell that? That's halfway through I smell--we must be close.

Everyone staying strong?

thoughts/feelings/etc in the comments please!

every writer absolutely must

read this beautiful essay about his time studying with Annie Dillard by Alexander Chee, the author of the stunning novel Edinburgh (via Angelle). Yes, the essay is pretty, but besides that, it packs a powerful punch of bullet pointable suggestions for being a better writer.

My favorite line:

Yes, everything’s been written, but also, the thing you want to write, before you wrote it, was impossible to write. Otherwise it would already exist. You writing it makes it possible.

Leave me yours in the comments.

(For further excitement with Mr. Chee, check out this picture of him in 1989, the year the essay takes place.)

Happy writing :) Put in a good hour for me today--you'll feel better at the end of it.

for those who have been following the Sylvester Antonio saga

A special song for you, courtesy of my cousin. Nothing could make me think of my childhood more than this song--furthermore, it's nearly directly applicable to my current situation.

Happy Friday!

MIA

So I've had some pretty exciting developments in my non-blogging life (take that as you like) and the sum of all points leads me to believe I will have very little computer access over the next two weeks.

So, apologies in advance for what I foretell will be a lighter post load than maybe you've grown to expect. But also. Do you know what this is like for me? NO INTERNET ACCESS. That's like... not being able to eat any sugar for two weeks. Like, I understand that other people, by force or by choice, live every day of their lives like that, but I personally have become so... what's the word... I think it might be ADDICTED. Yes, so ADDICTED to the internet that I can't even really conceive of an existence without it; I begin to panic even thinking about it.

Ok, well, on that note... I'll go console myself with some Robert Jordan.

Your Pub Date, Minus Two Weeks

This post was inspired (in fact, suggested and partially drafted) by Bruce Pollock, who thought maybe I could offer an insider's play-by-play to the panicked author two weeks shy of pub date. Thank you, Bruce! An awesome idea. May this post be everything you dreamed of and more.

YOUR PUB DATE, MINUS TWO WEEKS: The many panics of an author on the edge (and my responses)

Oh my dear sweet Lord, I have no reviews! Why don't I have any reviews?
All right, you gotta take a chill pill here--we don't WANT reviews before the pub date. We want reviews *after* the book is available in stores for people to go out and buy--otherwise they don't help your sales significantly (or at all).

There are only four reviews we can possibly get before the book pub date that would help, and these are all industry publications, not consumer ones. The four "pre-pubs" are Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Booklist, and Library Journal. Yes, it's great to have one, some, or (very rarely) all of these, since they help your visibility among booksellers and librarians. But it's too late to worry about them now, since your book was already sold in--either you have them or you don't. Our new focus is post-pub trade reviews that will help get you *consumer* attention.

Ok? So don't worry. Let's talk again in a month.

What if no one comes to my book party/launch event?
Well, they probably won't, unless you invited them and they know you're serious. You can't count on your publishing company to be able to create bodies for any book event--after all, we're begging our same finite posse to come to every event. And the venue may or may not do any advertising at all for you. So three things to remember about book events:

1) Now is not the time to be shy. Start calling in those favors to everyone you know, and doing whatever you can to advertise wisely (handing out flyers is great! so is Facebooking everyone in the region!). Do literally everything you can to get people to come; it's hard on the bookseller and on your publisher as well as on you if the event doesn't go well.

2) Creative schtick will help you bring bodies. Door prizes, booze, and snacks are three pretty fail-proof ways of getting people to show up for things. Depending on what your book is about, you might be able to come up with some clever theming, too.

3) Always be prepared for the absolute worst--expect there to be no one there but yourself. Then be pleasantly and gratefully surprised for each and every body that shows.

Now go out and do the best you can to prevent your fears from coming true.

No one's returning my publicist's calls! There's no TV, no radio, no major reviews lined up! It's all over before it even began, isn't it? I can just tell!!!
Um, alas, this is increasingly the way of book publicity. The poor publicists run themselves ragged and... mostly nothing comes of it because they're all categorically ignored. Naturally my publicists pitch all my books to all the national TV venues that would be a good fit, and pitch them tirelessly. But all my authors who have even been on national TV have been *approached directly by the TV program* after the producers ignored all our sweetest missives. I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth here, but it's a *little* annoying that we don't have more control over the situation than we do.

You just have to have faith that your publicists are doing whatever they can, and do as much as you can on your end to improve your own visibility. Cf point about leaving no stone unturned.

Also, read this article on what an author can do to complement traditional publicity.

No one could get me a book signing for October! Why? What am I going to do?!
Book signings are tough to set up. In order to host your event, a bookstore is giving up the ability to host any other event that night--that means they have to be sure your event is going to sell books, or they might actually not break even for the day. The chains will usually pass on an author who isn't already famous, and indies may want to see invite lists from the author or publisher. So look--it wasn't that we didn't try hard; maybe the cards didn't play out right.

The good news is, it doesn't matter! For the most part, events are only incidental book sales, and not the most important part of a publicity plan. You can set up your own event if you know you have a big invite list that wants to come. Many bookstores are willing to send a bookseller to sell books at venues outside the store--cafes, libraries, even private house parties, as long as the attendance is worth their while. Then you get to have more control over who comes and what the event entails. Think outside the box a little if you're desperate to have an event in a given city/area.

Also, there's nothing preventing you from securing book events in the future, at less competitive times of year.

And a final note--your publisher may be too busy to set up smaller or more private events, or may actually not have as strong a connection with, say, a local indie bookstore or library that you, the author, do. So sometimes you can do the legwork yourself and make better headway. Make sure you talk it through with your publicist first, so you don't step on toes--for example, it's a really bad idea for an author to contact a national chain on his or her own, since it might actually undermine the *publisher's* relationship with that chain as well as the author's. But the author him/herself will probably have better luck on a more personal level setting up events with people s/he knows or with whom there are common ties.

Why aren't there any copies of my book in Rhode Island?
Well, the buyers at the chains must have for some reason decided that their outlets in Rhode Island (or wherever) probably won't sell your book very successfully. They may be wrong, or only have seen a fraction of the factors (they won't know, for example, that you have seventy-five first cousins who live in or around Providence). And that's frustrating, but hard to change.

See, the national chains rank each of their stores based on overall sales as well as on category sales. If your book is about tulips and they've noticed gardening book sales are lowest in Rhode Island, they may decide not to retail your book there based on past title successes or failures. There's also a difference in "top store" or "all store" promotions that a chain may have awarded your publisher for your book, which will determine where and for which demographics your book is being stocked and sold.

Tell your editor your concerns, but be aware it's hard to change weirdness like this. Their sales choices are based on computer data--fallible, but hard to argue. A solution for you? Indies! The buyers there buy on a store-by-store basis. Go make nice with your bookseller friends in Rhode Island.

Why the heck is Amazon already selling used copies?!
Sucks, right? Try not to worry too much about it; they don't have that many. The "used" copies available on Amazon before your pub date are doubtlessly review copies your publicists sent out, hoping to get reviews for you, and which those review copy recipients turned around and threw out, gave away, or let fall into the hands of a wily and impoverished assistant, who turned to the internet for sustenance. Publishers don't like these anymore than you do, I promise. The good news is that when a book first comes out, the "used" copies online are almost never significantly more affordable than new copies. They shouldn't make any real difference in anything.

How many book bloggers does it take to create a buzz?
All of them. Get as many as you can; never stop. They'll be your second wind, and the reason your books stays in print.

But the good news is book bloggers work on their own time, and will always be available to you. You can keep reaching out to them later at less busy times of your life.

Why isn't my editor taking my calls?!
Um, I don't mean to sound heartless, but you're your publicist's problem now. Your editor unfortunately has *other* books to edit now. She still loves you, I'm sure. Don't worry about her right now.

Is it ok for me to beg all my Facebook friends to mention me and buy copies?
Uh, yeah. Cf above--no stone unturned. Just make sure you're not annoying about it.

When will the sales numbers be in? Wait, they're in already, aren't they? You're just avoiding telling me what they are, aren't you?
Well, I know your first printing numbers, and probably your laydown numbers (the sell-in, how many copies went into each chain, etc). But let's give this two weeks before you ask me for sales figures, ok? Consumer sales are much more important than anything else at all in the world.

Did this help you, dear author? Let me know if *I* have left any stones unturned!

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 4 (p 211-280)

Happy Columbus Day, Americans, let's all celebrate the millions who died for colonialism etc. Canadians, meanwhile, are all enjoying their turkeys--Happy Thanksgiving, northern friends!

Ok, I'm sure we're over 1/3 done now. Everyone staying strong?

Thoughts/feelings/tears/laughter/fears/joys welcome as usual!

Saturday Geeky Greek History Moment

In the course of my morning rummagings I came across this story (from Herodotus), which I thought was nice. (Think of this as an early celebration of Canadian Thanksgiving, which is on Monday.)

Polycrates was the king of Samos, and kind of a benevolent pirate type. Anyway he got filthy rich, and did all these public works with his money, and then people were grateful so he got even richer. This cycle went on for a while.

Soon Polycrates became nervous (as any reasonable religious Greek would have)that the gods were going to get jealous of him for his wealth and good fortune (the Greek pantheon gods were like that, very jealous). The pharaoh of Egypt, a buddy of Polycrates, advised him to make a sacrifice to appease their potential wraths. So Polycrates took his most prized possession--a big old ring with giant gemstones in it--and threw it into the sea as a gift.

A couple days later, a grateful citizen turned up at the palace with a gift for the king. The gift was a giant fish he had caught in his boat. When Polycrates had the fish cut open, inside was his favorite ring, returned to him.

Later, Polycrates got into other shenanigans and was assassinated for snubbing the Persian ambassador or something like that, but that's not really relevant to the story at hand.

For me, the moral of this story is--if you remember to thank the folks who've helped you out thus far, they'll give you even more in the future. A little gratitude goes a long way.

Today, I'm particularly grateful to the Rally Monkey, who cooked me delicious taco rice and cornbread, which I ate cold for breakfast, and who also did a bunch of my laundry because I have been too busy (and also because, as we all already know, I never do laundry). I am also grateful to one of my authors who was supposed to get me a re-write by Monday, but actually got it to me yesterday, so I was able to get it off my desk less overdue than I had feared it would be. I am also grateful to my two current front-list authors, who are pretty tirelessly stumping around on all kinds of publicity efforts 24/7 these last few weeks. I am also grateful to my secret boyfriend Michael Chabon, who touched my hand on Thursday night and looked me in the eye to thank me for coming to his event and buying his new book. I am also grateful to myself that I didn't drool on him.

Among a number of other things.

Happy Saturday! (If you're feeling bored, use the comments to tell me what you're grateful for this morning.)

yes, my entire family is now reading The Wheel of Time (it's like the Rat family book club)

My sister called me a Darkfriend!! All because I was a *teensy* bit misleading about who was gonna blow the Horn of Valere. I was *protecting* her from a spoiled plot! And besides, it wasn't like I actually lied about it! I live my life by the three oaths!

Which brings us to our Weekly Poll.

My sister called me a Darkfriend!

Haha that's funny.

Totally unacceptible! She should walk in the Light!

I haven't read the Wheel of Time and don't know what you're on about here.

one day until the boss leaves for Frankfurt Book Fair

Oh look! Someone made a video of my office!

some wisdom from the publicity meeting

RtP: I really think Oprah would be interested in this book.

Publicist: Actually, this is a realistic meeting, Robert.

To Dream the Impossible Dream of a Red Chamber (Movie Mash-Up Contest Winner!)

At last! After much deliberating, the Rally Monkey has decided on the winner of the Movie Mash-Up Contest!

Now here's the thing. There were some really, really funny entries... like, hundreds of them. We peed ourselves laughing. This meant we were unable to easily narrow down the list. Also, alas, I put the Rally Monkey in charge of judging, which means that I didn't get to pressure him into selecting some I thought were *really* funny.

Thank you everyone for the awesome submissions!

And without further ado, our finalists, alphabetical by title:

Bridge over the River Kwai, the Beloved Country (dylan)

Bridget Jones' Diary of a Mad Black Woman (Jessica)

The Forty-Year-Old Virgin Suicides (Cindy)

Fun with Dick and Jane Eyre (dylan)

The Grapes of Wrath of Khan (annerallen)

He's Just Not That Into You, Me, and Dupree (Dawn VanderMeer)

The King and I, Robot (The Imperfect)

Twelve Angry Men in Tights (holyspigot)

Wonder Boyz in the Hood (Cat)

You Got Served My Dinner with Andre (Penelope Wright)

In third place:

The Full Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Cindy)

In second place:

Gorillas in the Mystic Pizza (H.L. Dyer)

and finally, in first place, our grand prize winner of a pan of brownies:

Man of La Manchurian Candidate (B. Nagel)

Publishing-Related Backlist

All right, so some observation of my blog (in all its diverse interests, alas) has forced me to notice that some of my "focus" is being lost. Woopsies. This is, after all, supposed to be a blog about publishing.

I don't like reposting information because it's boring to people who've seen it before, but as we all know, bloggers come and go. So for those of my many friends who may have missed some of my early "articles" that are actually about, umm, publishing, I thought I'd post a little link-back cheat sheet.

Moonrat's Guide to Getting Published--this is pretty basic, and still the link I give to people who feel brand-new to it all.

Why You Should Never Submit Unagented to a Publishing Company--I know I'm basically preaching to the converted here. But please forward this to all your friends who think this is a good idea.

How Royalties Work--Just the basics, here. Lots of great comments clarifying things I missed, too.

Things You Should Be Able to Expect from Your Editor--Because there are some things it's ok to ask for! Here are some tricks for getting as much as you can out of the relationship.

Publishing by Omission--the [mostly] unintentional racism that happens in book publication, and what you can do to fight it.

Marketing Your Book--More tricks for getting the most possible from your publishing company in terms of marketing.

Why 40% of books printed are pulped--and all the background info you need to know about laydowns, sell-in, and cash-flow concerns that are the silly backbone of our industry.

Why it's super important to make your delivery date as an author

Book people are nice--a story about why it's more important to be nice than cool in publishing

What Makes a Dream Author--Because editors are neurotic, crazy people, and you never know what will make them happy or drive them into their holes in the ground--a little cheat sheet.

Why it's important to know your agent is following up with editors (from my editorial perspective)

My first print run is tiny! How do I save my book? Some solace (most first print runs are tiny) and some tips.

To cloth or not to cloth? My thoughts on paperback originals versus hardcover.

My open letter to Overwriters everywhere.

Hedging your bets--how every stage of publication is a gamble, and where you should pause to ask yourself about risks.

What's safe to syndicate online--my thoughts on this change and evolve, but here's where I'm at currently re: what to put up online if you're an author seeking publication, and what to protect and NOT put up.

Pre-editing--my thoughts on hiring a developmental editor before submitting to an agent or before your agent submits to houses.

Subrights--my thoughts on the advantages to either selling or retaining subrights (like foreign language translation, audio, book club, etc).

The Editing Cycle--a confession (from the editor's perspective).

What constitutes good sales for a literary novel? With all the lying we publishing folks do about print runs and sales figures, it's hard to even know which way is up. Well, here's my opinion.

An editor's thoughts upon the death of a difficult author.

An agent told me I'm not a great writer! How do I survive? My three tips on separating the publishing process from your creative process.

Less Is More--my manifesto on why publishing is failing as an industry, and some key ways I think we need to change.

For those of you interested in publishing, in whatever aspect, please remember I love and welcome questions.

For those of you who are shocked and dismayed to find out this is a publishing blog, fear not. I'll find an Asian pop video or a picture of a baby animal for you anon.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 3 (p 141-210)

Woohoo, whippin' right through here--approaching 1/3 finished!

Thoughts/feelings/impressions welcome!

Movie Mash-Up Contest!

Ok, I was jealous of everyone else's contests, and I wanted to make a mini-contest of my own. Actually, the Rally Monkey inspired me.

Today, the Rally Monkey was bored and sitting on the couch creating movie mash-up titles. What's a movie mash-up, you ask? It's when two or more movie titles combine to make another (ridiculous) movie title. The Rally Monkey got the idea back in 1996, when he saw a movie marquis that didn't have enough space left between titles. It said, Twelve Monkeys Waiting to Exhale. Which kind of leaves you with a funny picture in your head.

So, we're going to have a mini movie mash-up contest! By midnight of Monday, October 5, EST, leave in the comments of this post your awesome movie mash-up. The Rally Monkey will judge. The prize is the Rally Monkey and I will hand-bake and -mail you a batch of brownies (probably from a box, though, to be honest). Or if you don't want brownies of questionable provenance, you could also choose to receive a book randomly selected from my burgeoning library.

Here are some of the Rally Monkey's examples to inspire you (he literally spent all night coming up with these):

Dirty Dances with Wolves

Charlie's Angels in the Outfield

Million Dollar Baby Momma

Night of the Living Dead Poets' Society

No Country for Old Men in Tights

While You Were Sleeping with the Enemy of the State (three in one!)

and my personal favorite,

Dude, Where's My Gran Torino?

Since my contest only lasts two days, this will be perfect for warming you up for the better contests I mentioned yesterday!

Now watch out Hollywood!

contests!!

Hey, I've heard about two fun Halloween writing contests already! I was thinking of having one myself, but these guys have already pitched such good ideas I can't compete.

Stuart Neville is having a TwitFic ghost story contest! Fun for all Twitterers.

Ghosts of Belfast TwitFic Contest: Scare me in 124 characters or less for prizes!

As you may be aware, THE GHOSTS OF BELFAST will be published in the USA by Soho Press this Thursday, the 1st of October. I'll be embarking on a US tour (details here) to celebrate the launch, so please come and say hello if you're near any of the venues.

The other thing that happens in October is, of course, Halloween, when our thoughts turn to the ghostly and ghoulish. We all have our own personal ghost stories, so how about you share yours as part of a special Twitter contest? Here's how it'll work:

Go to your Twitter account (you do have one, don't you?) and tweet your own experience of a ghost, along with the hash tag #GhostsOfBelfast so I can find it. That leaves you 124 characters to tell your story. The shorter the better, the scarier the better, the funnier the better.

The contest will close at midnight on 31st of October 2009, and I will choose ten finalists. Each of those tweets will be re-tweeted by me and the good folks at Soho Press (or linked to a special page on my website if they're too long). The finalists will then be put to the vote on via Twitter, and the top five will each win a signed copy of THE GHOSTS OF BELFAST, as well as be featured on the home pages of StuartNeville.com and GhostsOfBelfast.com. What's more, whoever gets the most votes of all wins one of the last remaining copies of THE SIX, my limited edition signed and numbered short story collection - only fifty of these will ever be printed!

So, here are the three simple rules:

1) Tweet your scariest, funniest ghost story in 124 CHARACTERS OR LESS.

2) It's VITAL that you remember to include the hash tag #GhostsOfBelfast or your entry won't be seen.

3) Tweet it before MIDNIGHT 31st OCTOBER.

You can enter as many times as you like, but each tweet must be a different story. So, get tweeting, and good luck!

And from our dear friend Writtenwyrdd:

CHANNEL YOUR INNER LOVECRAFT! In honor of the upcoming pagan new year (Samhain, aka Halloween) I'm going to hold a contest.

WE'RE GOING TO BE WRITING HORROR. 500 to 1,000ish words of spec fic horror, poetry or prose, humorous or creepy. (You can go over 1,000 words, but please not by too much.) And no slasher horror pretty pretty please.

AND YOU GUYS GET TO VOTE ON THE WINNER. We'll have voting on the entries after it's all over. I might even submit something, but if I should luck out and win I'll give the prize to the runner up.

DEADLINE is October 31st, naturally.

SUBMISSIONS. Send your submission to me in the body of an email, single spaced. Addy: writtenwyrdd (at) earthlink.net Heading should read "Chthulu contest submission." Be sure and include the name you want me to use on the post. I won't be naming individuals during the voting round, but at the announcements round. MORE THAN ONE SUBMISSION IS ALLOWED, BUT SEND THEM SEPARATELY. (Please keep it to two, though. We don't want to stack the deck.)

PLEASE REPOST AND SPREAD THE WORD. I WANT AT LEAST TWENTY ENTRIES. Because the prize is cool. It's this cute fellow, cuddly Chthulu.

Eek, isn't the prize just the cutest thing you've ever seen?! Too bad I don't write spec fic.

Poll Day

Blech icky meetings all day. I thought we'd have a poll to liven things up.

This is based on a true story! My true story!

One of my darling beloved authors has bought me a Tiffany necklace as a thank-you present now that her book is out. How would you respond if you were me?

Holy crap! Tiffany! No one's ever bought me Tiffany! Awesome! I've got to show everyone in my office how much I must rock if she likes me this much.

That stooge! I'm her editor! She shouldn't be buying me gifts! I shake my finger aggressively.

Ack, guilt! Now I have to buy her something nice in return!

You can't put a price tag on how happy she is right now. Graceful acceptancec and a hug is best.

PICKING BONES FROM ASH is out in stores!

Picking Bones from Ash, the gorgeous debut by long-time blog friend Marie Mutsuki Mockett, is finally available in stores!

I was lucky enough to read this one in manuscript form, and loved it for reasons besides the fact that Marie's descriptions of Japan are so beautifully evocative. If you're looking for a lovely literary experience--particularly if you're interested in mother/daughter relationships--I can't recommend it highly enough. Here's what other reviewers are saying.

Pimp My Monkey (Guest Blogger: Chris Eldin)

Today, please welcome Chris Eldin, who is here to talk about lessons learned from a year of working on internet author publicity.

Old lady underwear.

That’s what current book-marketing efforts look like. One size fits all. Unnoticeable. But a comfortable, feel-good accessory for writers who don’t know what else to do.

What are some examples of overused and tired marketing efforts? Blog tours that attract mainly other writers. Contests and give-aways. Non-stop Twitter and Facebook spam.

Ladies, break out those thongs! Gents, break out those…errr-just do whatever the ladies say.

This post will be a quickie round-up of lessons-learned from the book promotions blog, the Book Roast. The Book Roast was a one year endeavor to market books for authors. Our motto, Serving up authors and books lightly gilled and seasoned with humor, helped entice best-selling authors from a variety of genres to support our site.

Feeling a bit voyeuristic? A Book Roast interview with Writer Unboxed is posted here. Like seeing editors roasted? So did we. We roasted Editorial Anonymous here, Evil Editor here, and Moonrat here. Some agents got pretty toasty too. You can check their links in our sidebar. People like blogging promotions with a humorous bent. We were nominated for a BBAW award. Most things worked (making fun of agents). A few didn’t (charity drives). But in the end, it was a fun and rewarding experience to step out of the box. To shake off that baggy underwear.

Design
**Follow the ten commandments**

**Know your audience**
There’s a reason bookstores don’t mix their entire stock of books and alphabetize. Readers are loyal to their genres. When we (the Book Roast team) developed the Book Roast blog, we aimed to be as inclusive as possible. We had assumed that when Author A was being promoted, some of his/her fan base would continue to stick around for other authors. That our readership would organically grow. This did not happen. We did not get the crossover interest we had hoped for. Romance readers stuck with the romance authors, etc.

Development
**Consider the cost**
How much time and/or money are you willing to invest in your blog development? Are you going to pay a web designer, or do it yourself? There are many sites that offer free templates. But as more and more people are becoming web-savvy, the standards have inched higher and higher.

Also, how much time/money are you going to invest once it’s up and running? It can be time consuming to keep coming up with new and informative content, and to keep the energy level high. Blogs need to have a predictable schedule for readership to stay and grow.

The Book Roast blog was a team effort. Even though the work was spread across several people, we each ended up spending several hours per month with maintenance issues. It was more time consuming than we assumed it would be.

**Develop a brand/theme**
Develop a brand that identifies your content and style, keeping your target audience in mind. Let me repeat for the people who wander around everywhere with no clear focus or goal for their work or their professional image hey get out of the refrigerator and wait til I come to the kitchen I don’t care that your friends can eat chips for dinner where’d I put my drink and damn did I query that agent already I hope she forgot now where was I?

Keep your target audience in mind.

Quiet all that other noise. What does your target audience want? What gets your target audience energized? Create your message based on this, and develop your brand from there.

When developing an online brand, such as a blog or a website, consider your screen real estate. Put all of your important content at the top. This is your “first impression.” Readers should not have to scroll to find out what your blog is about.
The Book Roast team developed a brand based on food—we were all hungry writers and enjoyed eating. Remember our tag line: Serving up a variety of authors and books lightly grilled and seasoned with humor. Our style was casual and humorous, and our blog was designed to reflect this. A blog patron described us as “an online cocktail party.” The Book Roast brand was easily recognizable, and quickly set us apart from other book-related blogs.

**Hook your readership**
Related to your brand/theme is having a hook. Something that keeps your readership coming back for more.
The Book Roast was fortunate to have a publishing insider, Ms. Sally Spitfire, who posted every Monday. A marketing professional, Ms. Spitfire offered insights that other agent/editor blogs did not. She was our hook. That, and our humor.
Hooking your readership should be the focus of your brand. Why should your target audience visit you the first time? Why should they keep coming back? It’s worth it to take your time creating a hook. Something about first impressions…

Implementation
**Choose an opportune time to launch**
Deciding when to launch your blog depends on your audience. Perhaps you want to launch around the same time as a conference you’re attending. Or if you’re a romance writer, February might be a good month, etc.

After going through a complete one-year cycle, we found that the two months with the highest internet activity (for the Book Roast blog) were February and March. The two worst months were August and December. Your audience may be different, but it’s important to start on a high point.

**Decide on comment moderation**
Blogging is interactive, but you have to decide whether or not you’re going to moderate comments. Weigh the costs/benefits of open comments versus comment moderation.

We decided to leave the comments open on the Book Roast. We had a couple of days where one person came to our blog and posted offensive comments. We decided to delete the comments as they came up, and to ignore the person otherwise. We were lucky. He went away after two days and we didn’t have any problems after that. We wanted to avoid comment moderation because our theme was casual and talksy.

**Get the word out**
The personal touch is time consuming, but effective. Email your friends and blogging acquaintances about your launch. Be positive and upbeat. Don’t spam. Use whatever tools you’re comfortable with to advertise your opening (Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc). But don’t overuse these tools—they’ll become white noise and lose their effectiveness.

Visit blogs, book clubs, and other groups who may be interested in what your blog has to offer.

Ask friends to nominate your blog for the various awards that are out there. Moonrat has some very nice aunts who can nominate you if you can’t find anyone else.

**Acknowledge your supporters**
Be polite. Show your readership you care about them. Be nice, yanno. It goes a long way. Plus, it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Evaluation
**Get reader feedback**
If possible, survey your readership from time to time to see what’s working, and what’s not working.

**Review current trends for your genre**
What’s hot this year? Dedicate some posts to trends. For example, if you’re a children’s book writer, the current hot trend is steam punk. Take some time to research and put together posts about these trends. It adds to your authority and authenticity.

**Review current technology changes**
Stay on top of the latest technologies, and whether or not you can use them to help you market your books. I like this site.

**Keep records**
Keep track of the numbers of visitors, types of feedback, where visitors are clicking in from. Statistics help keep you grounded in reality.

Now, about those thongs…

In addition to branding yourself/your work with an online presence, you can market yourself in many “non-traditional” ways offline.

Brainstorm places in your area you can go to market your book. Remember, it’ll always be a “no” if you don’t ask. But most people are supportive of local authors and talent.

Some possible places may include: local cafes, grocery stores, dinner theaters, bike clubs, hiking groups, PTA fund raisers, or kids’ sporting events (set up a table). Partner with other authors in your area. Hook up with the local universities. Take some professors out to lunch. Offer to be a guest lecturer.

Do you have a budget for premiums? Ask libraries in your area if you could put a basket of free pens/stress balls/magnets/etc on their counter. Fairly cheap and very easy to do.

That’s about all for now.

Perhaps you’re looking at your old lady underwear in a new light. At this point, you may be tempted to take all your underwear and stamp them with your new blog address and ask the librarian if she wants them.

For the love of all that’s good and true in this world, please don’t do this in Baltimore.

Chris Eldin is a native of Baltimore and a collector of elastic waistband thongs. She writes humorous middle-grade books for boys. Her latest marketing blog can be found here: www.monkeypeemonkeypoo.blogspot.com. If you’re an agent and would like to query her about her manuscript, she has guidelines posted on her blog.

Robert the Publisher's Gem of the Day

Late last night, Robert and I were both still at work. He called me into his office and told me to sit, then gestured to the little black single-serving coffee maker by his phone. "Want a cup?" he asked.

"Um, ok," I said. I'm not the kind of person who should be drinking coffee after 10 am but I was already pretty nervous about what he wanted to talk about and didn't think declining was a good idea.

"Do you take milk?"

"Yes," I said apprehensively. Was he keeping milk under his desk? If so, how long had it been there? But then I saw the non-dairy creamer on the bookshelf and relaxed--a little.

I watched him plunk in the coffee pod over a mug he had produced from some dusty corner and stab the "brew" button with all the slow-motion precision of one's grandfather. "Well, we have a lot to talk about," he said. "We did not have very good news today, did we."

"Not really," I said. I was a nervous wreck; I had received what we'll call an unpromising piece of information about a book of mine that's supposed to be coming out in a couple months, and I was particularly worried about how I was going to get us out of the jam.

"Well," he said, placing the full hot coffee cup in front of him and popping the top of the non-dairy creamer open. "Bad things happen; people lie; reviews fall through. We hemmorhage cash over things we were sure would work beautifully, and just hope we make enough off of our strong backlists to survive. I'm not saying we want bad things to happen," he continued, tapping an awful lot of surprisingly gelatinous creamer into the cup in front of him, "nor should weexpect them necessarily, but we shouldn't fear them." He looked pensively into the coffee, where the non-dairy creamer floated stubbornly on top in two amoeba-esque clumps, then removed his glasses, folded one leg down, and submerged the lenses into the coffee, stirring briskly. When the coffee was good and... blended, I guess you'd say, he withdrew the glasses and tapped them observantly on the rim of the mug, then looked up to catch my eye. "What's the matter? Oh no, did you say you didn't want cream?"

"No, cream's great," I assured him, and took the proffered cup.

"Yes, well, as I was saying," he continued, pushing the glasses back up his formidable nose, "I have been in publishing a long, long time. I have published many books that failed, but I do not fear failure. You simply can't fear failure." He paused. "Are you afraid of failure?"

"More than anything in the world," I answered, before I could think it through.

"Huhn." Robert peered at me. A tear of coffee ran down his cheek and made a brown circle on his lemon-colored shirt. "Huhn. Well. This has been very interesting." He clasped his hands. "Well, you answered honestly, which is good. But tell me, what good does fear of failure do you?"

"It helps you pre-empt the worst case scenario," I replied.

"No, no, this isn't a rhetoric exercise," he said. "I want you to think about that, whether being afraid of failure really helps you. It must be awfully exhausting."

"It is," I said, thinking of the tightness in my torso and the wrinkles accumulating on my forehead, the anxiety and scrambling each week, the churlish re-editing and re-re-editing, the arteries hardening in my chest. I raised my swirling duatone coffee to my mouth. I figured the consequences of my fears had to be worse for me than the consequences of the coffee.

Now that I've spent the night thinking about it, I think that Robert's advice to me about being a book publisher really applies to anyone who wants to work in the industry in any capacity--but perhaps especially to writers. To sustain a state of high tension and desperation--you know, the kind the whole submission process usually creates--is not only physically exhausting, it's creatively exhausting. It also makes us less likely to make wise decisions when we're presented with opportunities. Paychecks aside--and let's face it, even the best-paid among us would-be publishing/published peeps don't make THAT much money--I think we survive by letting go of a fear of failure. Our desperation makes us lose sight of what we got into this for--in many cases, to write. Writing is the joy, and if you are joyful you have not failed. We should be happy when good things come about, but not live in fear that they won't.

Easier said than done, of course. But I'm going to make a conscious effort going forward.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 2 (p 71-140)

Happy Yom Kippur, to those observing, and Happy Week 2 to everyone in general!

Thoughts/opinions/feelings/conversations welcome!

ATTN London Friends!

Your friendly reminder that Natasha Solomons is hosting the London Gravity's Rainbow meetup tomorrow at the Yorkshire Grey pub on Langham Street. The GravRain folks will be congregating from 5 pm on--look outdoors if it's sunny. You'll know Natasha; she'll be the one with dark hair snaffing cupcakes.

update on Sylvester Antonio, the kitchen mouse

He's a punk.

We've set traps everywhere--lots of them--but caught nothing. He hasn't been sighted much in a month--just a tail here or there, a blur of gray in the corner of your eye. I thought maybe he got bored of us and decided to move on.

Well, last night I got up at 4 am to get some water, and heard a telltale rustling in the kitchen. I turned on the light. There he was, the punk. Not on the floor like a normal mouse, oh no. He had clearly designed our stack of plastic grocery bags into a mountain from which he could lower himself into the trash and pull out tasty morsels. I watched him scamper up the mountain, then use his *back legs* to shimmy up the space between the wall and the oven! His back legs!! All the while noshing on the tasty morsel he gripped in his front legs and winking at me.

Punk.

I told the RM, who said I was a disappointment to the household. I saw Sylvester Antonio behind the stove, and just let him stare at me? I didn't even smack at him with the broom?

"He was so cute."

Cute?! Didn't I understand that mice carry disease? Blah blah blah.

So now the war between Sylvester Antonio and the Rally Monkey has escalated once again. I just don't think he's stupid enough to get stuck in the traps, is the thing. He's cheekily avoided them all this time.

Quick! Someone call an emergency copy editor! I just can't look at it anymore!!

This is why it's so important that editors and authors get along. (Ie otherwise one of us would be dead.)

Today is Friday, September 25th, 2009. I'm going to take you on a rollicking trip back through time to show you the editorial process on a book.

Nb before beginning: this is a very good book with a very strong premise and an author who's a very good writer. This is a GOOD editorial scenario.

Without further ado:

July 1, 2009: Author delivers her completed manuscript, as according to contract.

July 21, 2009: After slavishly doing nothing with my life but edit for three weeks, evenings and weekends included, I send the manuscript back to the author, ripped life from limb and accompanied by one of my signature 16-page editorial memos. (You'd NEVER guess it from reading me here, I'm sure, but sometimes I'm pretty, um, long-winded.) (Also I'm a micromanager and a perfectionist.) Delicate critical phrases such as "Awesome point! Perhaps you can flesh it out a bit more to show people how awesome it is!" and "I love that you show her doing this! Great details! A little worried it interrupts the flow right here, though" abound.

Editing the first draft is awesome! You're so excited by it; it's your first engagement with the text!! But of course the first draft is always disappointing because it's NEVER AS PERFECT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE!!! Luckily your 16-page editorial memo will straighten that author out.

July 22-August 10: Per my directions, the author begins to attack my edits, chapter by chapter, emailing the chapters back to me as they're done so we can work in tandem. The author is a very good sport even though she's just been writing the darn thing for 9 months; she obediently reimmerses herself after only a single celebratory bottle of wine. Atta girl.

August 1-20: I receive the edited chapters, one by one, and begin my re-edits. Rar! The author has only understood half of my vision!! How annoying. Well, she did get the other half; I just have to re-edit everything and draw VERY PARTICULAR ATTENTION to the things that still need development. This time I won't be as complimentary in my editorial notes. Phrases such as "must go" and "this is awkward" feature more prominently.

August 10-30: Beleaguered author, still putting on a chipper front like the good sport she is, begins to re-edit my re-edits and return the chapters to me. She doesn't complain about my meanness and insensitivity in my editorial comments! Ok, she's a journalist, and is probably used to ten times more direct criticism from her editors elsewhere. But I *do* notice that she passive-aggressively is less careful about copy editing mistakes in this round. Rar!! I shall fix every last hyphen and floating period!! Or maybe she just realized I'm going to do that anyway. Whatever.

August 30-September 5: Author has to, like, do work for her paying job or something dumb like that. Fine. We'll both take a little time away. Maybe when we come back to the manuscript we'll both feel fresh and revitalized.

September 6: We do not feel fresh and revitalized.

September 7-21: Oh my god! Am I really reading this again? I've read each of these darn chapters so many times I don't even know if they're in chronological order! I keep reading phrases that I'm sure were already used and striking them out with a mean note saying REP! But then when I search within the document I find they were NOT used before--I'm just remembering the last round of edits!! Ugh, I'm now rendered useless. Time to make my assistant go through everything. Poor dear.

September 7-21: The author hates me. I can tell. She hasn't said as much, but she's not sending me funny notes with stories about her best friend's dumb boyfriend and the shenanigans he got them into back in high school anymore. Her notes have become short and terse: "Well, here's Chapter 3; hope it's what you were looking for. Back to work I go."

September 22: Oh wait, hey. This chapter's not bad. I mean, I'm not entirely sure, because I've read it too many times and no longer trust myself. But hmm, hmm, yes, this all seems to be what I recall having wanted in the first place... I think. That was a long time ago and I'm not remembering clearly.

September 23-24: Hmm, here's the whole thing. Dammit, I can't make myself read through it ONE MORE TIME to see if there are any huge overarching problems! I mean, could there be, at this point? Is there a single word or concept we haven't overturned at least twice? My assistant says it's great--how is that possible? I guess I'm way too close to the project at this point. Not only Although my assistant did catch some typos--SHOCKING! TYPOS THAT GOT BY ME!!! I really need a break from this.

September 25: It's Friday morning. Can I even bear to open the document? Hmm. No, no I can't. All right, time to call in a copy editor. Let's let it be her problem now!

Google searches that have brought people here recently

for your delectation:

"Naked girls Waterbury"

"editorial assistant blog" [why yes, it seems that would be I]

"Toni Morrison literary ass" [hmm, any ideas, anyone?]

"Best King Arthur books written" [this one makes me happy; our list has become a Google authority]

"why do the British?" [I have no idea, hun; I'm really sorry]

a lot of people come in on searches re: AR--so thanks for everyone who contributed to that discussion; your comments are being read and utilized everyday

why Wednesday is my favorite day of the week

Sounds funny, right? Wednesday...? Yeah, but it's true. And I bet secretly there are a bunch of other obsessive-compulsive editorial types out there JUST LIKE ME who, if you backed them into a corner, would admit it's their favorite day of the week, too.

Why?

Bookscan.

That's right, my friends: on Wednesday morning, Nielsen releases the previous week's book sale data to its paying clients.* I live every moment of my week before seeing the sales numbers in a state of breathless frenzy and nervous anticipation, and every moment after seeing them wondering how I can use them to make next week's numbers better. The weekend merely marks the difference between the "WhatcanIdowhatcanIdowhatcanIdo!?!?!" mindset and the "HowdidIdohowdidIdohowdidIdo?!?!" mindset. That, and nothing more.

I'll admit it, I'm a sales data fiend. I've seen other editors who are much more zen about the whole process, trusting in the divine power of their publicity and marketing department to handle their jobs at this point, realizing that sweat and blood and brow-furrowing on the editorial team's part can't do a whole lot once the finished copies are out of the warehouse. If only I could be one of those nice, calm, forward-thinking editors, and let go. If only I could look at sales data and think wanly, "how interesting." But alas, it shall not be; instead I live my life like a cocker spaniel who just KNOWS there's a steak up on the counter, if only they could jump high enough or con someone into dropping it.

Pantpantpantpant.

Yes, it's early in the morning, but aside from having my epic fantasy reading to get through before work, I also have this last week's sales data to panic about. As usual, there's one title I'm particularly anxious about (usually, it's the book of mine that came out most recently). But I have many ancillary anxieties, as well, some larger than others. The old heartbreakers, for example--you know, the books you desperately loved that for some INCOMPREHENSIBLE reason never sold very well--I've mostly resigned myself to ignoring, although my eyes will pass over the latest numbers with indefatigable (if mild) hope.

Why do I care so much? Well, obviously I want all my books to perform well, and I want to be the first to know if something's taking off. But also, I want to know WHERE it sells (geographically, demographically, through which vendor, etc) so in my conniving mind I can try to come up with ways to capitalize on that. Knowing the sales data also helps me speak more honestly with the author and agent about how a book is performing and where, specifically, we should target our energies to improve performance. The weekly sales data helps me figure out if something specific we did this week helped a lot, or didn't help at all. Was that radio appearance successful targeting of the book market? Well, if you see a bubble of hundreds or thousands more copies sold this week than last, the answer might be yes; if the number is 17 copies higher, maybe we've learned it's not worth the trouble.

Also, I want to know if I think I can push for a reprint--not that this is my job, or that I even have any say in whether a book is reprinted. I was talking to an author friend this weekend, and she was surprised to hear the editorial department not only has no control over reprints, they are often informed of reprints only after the fact. Well, as I mentioned above, I am a control freak, and really, really like to know if I should anticipate a reprint--it helps me make sure I have any text updates ready in time, and new reviews or blurbs added to cover copy ahead of time, etc. So my idea of a nightmare scenario is being informed by the inventory coordinator that one of my books has been reprinted without my involvement! I try to prevent that by being on top of things.

Another thing I love about Wednesday morning sales figures are the freak surprises. Like when a backlist title from 1983 about some obscure 17th-century watchmaker suddenly rockets into the top 20 titles for the week--all via Amazon sales. Will we ever figure out why? Well, we can try. It's like a mystery--was this guy mentioned in the NYT? Did some formidably traveled blogger do a write-up of the book? Was it suddenly assigned to some random reading list for a college class with a gihumongous enrollment? Sometimes we figure it out; sometimes we don't.

Does being a stat hound help me in my job? I don't know. I do think absorbing all this data--not that I'd be able to stop myself from gluttonously poring over sales figured even if I wanted to--will eventually help develop my brain into a book-creating machine that understands what sells to whom and for how much and where, and why. I mean, maybe.

As usual, I have big hopes today for one of my books in particular. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. It is, obviously, totally life-changing, and possibly the best book ever published. Now let's see if Nielsen is going to play along...

*No, you can't ask me for any of this data, sorry; others have lost their job for less than disseminating sales data. Besides, it's not that interesting, unless you are an above-mentioned OCD editorial freak like YT.

Tuesday poll

Sorry guys, it's been a crazy week. I owe you a nice post with some profound thoughts, but it's going to have to be tomorrow, because I have a lovely pricing meeting to go to (woohoo, my absolute favorite--NOT).

But in the meantime, last week's poll about Dan Brown was VERY interesting and informative about us (bloggers) as a demographic. So if you'd oblige me, I wanted to compare Dan Brown statistics to other bestsellers.

I'm not interested here in whether or not you liked any of these books, this is just whether you've *bought* or *read* them. After all, I know many authors seeking publication as well as people who work in publishing believe it is "research" to read blockbusters in order to try to pinpoint and mimic trends. So no judgment--just data!!

If you're curious how I came up with this list, I referenced this Wikipedia entry re: bestsellers of all time (interesting to peruse in its own right!).

Which of these record-breaking blockbusters have you read and/or purchased? (Please select all that apply.)

Da Vinci Code

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Bk 7)

The Time Traveler's Wife

Twilight

Eat Pray Love

Pillars of the Earth

Tuesdays with Morrie

The Kite Runner

As always, your comments on the poll/results/bestsellers encouraged!

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along: Week 1 (p 1-70)

How did everybody do? Please post your status updates--successes or failures!--things you thought were interesting, hopes for the future, thoughts about bananas? Please! Let the comments flow like banana syrup!

I'm plowing through, yes I am, but I gotta admit there were times I wanted to gouge out my eyes Oedipus-style.

yes, still getting up early mornings before work to read epic fantasy...

On page 549 of The Dragon Reborn (the third book in The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan), one [male] character says this to another:

"Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive. Women forgive, but never forget."

Discuss.

[I'm putting some further directive prompts in the first comment for those who want to play.] Happy Friday!

Robert the Publisher's Gem of the Day

RtP: There are two kinds of people in this world: the kind that build bridges, and the kind that walk over bridges without ever thinking about how they got there.

Hm. I know which kind I hope to be...

Wednesday Poll

No time to blog, but for my personal edification/curiosity (or for your entertainment), please feel cordially invited to take my poll. I am very curious about how all this hubbub affects you personally.

Which of these best describes your relationship with the new Dan Brown book?

I own it already. I've been waiting for it excitedly, and it's already been out for 24 hours, after all.

I'll probably end up buying it, but I didn't feel the need to be part of the first crazy rush.

I'll probably end up reading it eventually, but have no intention of shelling out for a hardcover.

I think the whole phenomenon is amusing, but I'll never read it.

I find the whole thing stupid, and am really tired of hearing about Dan Brown.

Who's Dan Brown?

childrens ugg boots

rar, terribly busy week

Not sure what else I have to post, anyway. But. Quick murmurs--

You guys must already have heard that the Philadelphia libraries are all closing, effective October 2? In case you haven't, blow-by-blow here. (Via Carol) Besides all the obvious reasons to be horrified by public libraries' going under, I want to add on a publisher's note that this will affect everyone seeking publication now and in the future--library buys help us make up our first print runs, and without them, we would not be able to afford to print riskier/more literary titles at all. So I foretell a widespread closing of libraries will lead to fewer publications of literary fiction, debut novels, and poetry, among other things.

Here's a nuanced and VERY detailed treatment of the real state of publishing (good, bad, ugly, stupid, but mostly realistic) inspired by the annual industry professionals survey (via JES). This article is intended, I think, for insiders (like me) but if you can bear to slog through it there's a LOT of interesting data about things we shouldn't be worried about and are, and things we aren't worried about and shouldn't be. Some of the salient points (through my personal lens):

-there's no job security, and this has all kinds of negative effects
-a lot of people in charge of acquisitions are dreamers, and aren't sensible about the business side of things, and need to get real
-WAY to many books are published each year, with a lot of "sameness" and fighting for profits by doing MORE of what we think worked in the past--which basically creates mediocrity and causes consumers to lose faith and interest
-the entire financial model we run off of is totally screwy
-at the end of the day, when we get real and fix all the bull$hit here, there will still be books, and still be publishing

(this has all made me want to write my own manifesto, but I'll rein it in--for now...)

Finally, since everything else is bad news, some art for your delectation!!

This is my Etch-a-Sketch portrait of the Rally Monkey. I think it is evidence of a rather stunning natural ability on my part--would you ever have guessed this was my first-ever time with an Etch-a-Sketch?! You'd totally be able to pick him out of a crowd, right? It's a nearly photographic rendering!! (Erm...please no one show this "art" to his mother.)

Gravity's Rainbow Weekly Check-In

Hi Guys!

You've probably seen my Gravity's Rainbow sidebar at this point, but in case you didn't, YES, we pushed the start date back one week by popular demand. So we'll "talk" about the first 70 pages here next Monday, September 21st.

So far I know of only two meet-ups, one in New York (9/21) and one in London (9/26). However, people from the following cities have expressed interest in meetups, in case others are organized:

Los Angeles, CA
Kansas City, MO
Chicago, IL

(Let me know of other cities to add, in comment or via email)

Annnd I'm actually going to have to put Robert Jordan aside and start reading this week... My assistant is way ahead of me and has taken all kinds of clever notes. Boo, smart and overachieving assistants!! (Not really.)

Saturday morning obscure boy band cover moment

Since you're all so fond of Chinese pop ;)

Fools Garden (yeah, no apostrophe), an apparently German boy band, released this video, "Lemon Tree," in 1993 (although the video looks like it was filmed in the late 60s).

Then, Tracy, a Chinese pop singer, covered it in this video where in she measures men's noses and ears!

Fun for all.

Happy Saturday!

link stealing: Friday publishing funnies, Gravity's Rainbow meetup, etc!

Literally everything below I stole from the Pimp My Novel Friday round-up:

Robert McCrum distills publishers' marketing euphemisms. Some of my favorites: "Booker Prize Contender" (a novel we paid too much for); "Cult novel" (no publicity to speak of but we got a review in Time Out); "Multicultural phenomenon" (no one can pronounce the author's name); "A European sensation" (we got drunk at the Frankfurt Book Fair).

The good ol' Book Publicity Blog explains what a book embargo is, and how it helps and complicates publicity campaigns.

Unrelated--check out the box in the sidebar for the Gravity's Rainbow readalong! It will be there forever and ever. Best news (well, for NY people): Jolie Hale is hosting the first NY meetup on 9/21. Details here.

Ok, that's actually it for now. But don't forget the Brooklyn Book Festival on Sunday! It's literally the best fun in publishing all year, and it's free, and the weather's supposed to be nice! Come frolic in Brooklyn Heights and pick up some bling from indie presses (and some less indie presses!).

excellent venn diagram Friday

via my dear friend Meg. may she always send me entertaining things.

some stuff for Thursday

Publish or Perish--the 7 (or more like 13) emotional stages of publishing, as ennumerated by the New York Times and courtesy of the inimitable Brian F. I laughed, I cried, I ate some cheese.

Gawker did this piece on the 6 only remaining ways to get a book deal these days. Funny!! Only... wait a minute...

Bob Miller over at HarperStudio (a real hero of mine, FYI) disagrees with MJ Rose (and, thereby, me) on her take on author royalties needing a bump. His take here. He makes a good point re: sharing profit--another strategy, I think. But I want to be an advocate for sharing marketing responsibility (and the burden, financial and energetic, therein). I believe that a hard-working author with an uncooperative publisher behind them and a hard-working publisher with an uncooperative author are both very, very mediocre combinations. Why can't we share reward and risk?

I have a theory for hostile industry takeover on this one, but it's top secret. Shhh. First, someone needs to put me in charge of everything. Then I'll tell you.

Here, 10 tips for making your blog popular, and keeping it popular. Totally fascinating. I was recently worrying that maybe I publish too often/too much... I notice comments have kind of dropped off. But what do you guys think? Does anyone ever go "nuts, I wish she'd post a little less so I could keep up"?

Brooklyn Book Festival this Sunday!

Hope you're planning on dropping by if you're in the hood!

Website here.

Gravity's Rainbow Read-Along Update

Hi all! Everyone gearing up for the Gravity's Rainbow read-along?

Here's some notes!

Meet-ups:
-Natasha Solomons has offered to organize a London or Dorset meet-up
-Kat has offered to organize a Leeds meet-up
-There will definitely be a New York meet-up on the evening of Monday, Sept 21--I'll let you know when I hear concrete details.

Re: Infinite Summer:

-Some (many) folks have requested postponing the start date two weeks to accommodate Infinite Summer, the Infinite Jest read-along. I didn't mean to overlap, guys--I got the dates wrong and thought it was over. So this is a democracy, and we do what all good democracies do: vote!

Would you prefer if the Gravity Rainbow readalong started one week later, on 9/21 instead of 9/14?

Yes please!

No thank-you.

I don't care either way; I'll start when you all start as long as there are cupcakes.

I don't care either way, because I think you guys are crazy for reading Gravity's Rainbow. But hey! Enjoy.

sheepskin boots

All the clerical details for now--thanks to everyone who's already expressed interest/enthusiasm!

how sad.

Re: my post yesterday: Well, looks like I wasn't nominated after all (?). They (someone) sent me two different emails and told me I'd been nominated, and to let my blog readers know voting opened on 9/7... I guess I didn't make the final cut? Or maybe the emails I got were a hoax? Sorry about the confusion, guys.

But no matter; I don't need any blog awards. Your validation (which was gratefully received) is more important.

all right, who's been messing with the polls?!

Someone--WHO WERE YOU?!?! COME FORTH!!--nominated me for Best Publishing/Industry Blog.

This is my first-ever nomination! If you want, you can vote for me here. It appears though that I am up against some giants.

But thank you to whoever nominated me, and also to everyone who comes here, visits, comments, or just listens. I love blogging, and you guys give me a reason to keep doing it. You make my day.

Ratty love and kisses. xxx

Saturday morning indie Taiwanese pop/rock moment

I love, love love this video. Taiwanese punk boy rockers retro-dancing in Converses on tatami mats while singing to a girl in a kimono and sumo wrestlers. What's not to love? Best, there are random Japanese words in the middle of the Chinese lyrics--you can tell, because they appear in big English writing in the subtitles.

The song's called "My Anata" ("Anata" being the Japanese word for "you") and I don't think you need to speak Japanese or Chinese to think the video is hilarious. But of course, I have peculiar taste.

David Tao is a Taiwanese pop singer with a very interesting life story, if you're curious. Eg working for the LAPD while scraping to put himself through college before finding his calling in his late 20s as a pop/rock star in the Chinese-speaking world. Isn't he cute?

Ok, all right, no more Asian pop culture for today.

Bridgeside Books

The day before I left for Vermont, I collected some data from you all on Facebook about which indie bookstores I should hit up along the way (thanks, all! FYI I did!). Imagine how surprised I was to find a store no one had mentioned in tiny Waterbury, Vermont, population 3,000. The thing is, Bridgeside Books only opened a couple of days before I passed through--you would have REALLY had to be psychic to know about it!

Nestled into the underpass of a delightfully quaint road bridge along Waterbury's main drag is Bridgeside Books, of the squealably cute facade above. Naturally, as we walked home from an epic brunch at the Stagecoach Inn, I couldn't resist the bookstore sign, and dragged all four of my friends in (complain as they might, they hardly resisted. I should mention two are elementary school teachers and one has a librarian for a mother).

We chatted up the unsuspecting founder/owner, the delightful Hiata DeFeo (pictured here), who was a very good sport about us. A former employee of Green Mountain Coffee, she explained that her lifelong dream was to open a bookstore, and that Waterbury had had no bookstore of its own in more than 15 years (yikes!).

Bridgeside Books had its grand opening in mid-August, but the list is flexible and still growing. Hiata is excited to learn what customers are interested in as they come in individually, and takes suggestions and recommendations for other titles to buy as she goes. She's looking forward to developing a long and diverse stock list.

The bookstore is made up of two rooms. The main area contains fiction, mystery, and nonfiction for adults, as well as an entire table devoted to local and Vermont authors. I can't tell you how excited I was to find that Hiata not only stocked a particular author of mine, but read and loved all this author's books! There was much loud squeeing (by me) which Hiata (and my friends) handled gracefully. What this means to me, folks, is that she's ALREADY committed to supporting indie presses!!

The annex is a children's/Young Adult haven, which stocked a range from new and classic picture books (one of my friends ended up buying heavily from these) to Twilight and other mainstream popular young adult. I ended up buying from the YA nook, myself, when I stumbled upon The Absolutely True Confessions of a Part-Time Indian, which I've been meaning to read for a long time.

Note: should you happen to be planning a summer cool-down or a foliage viewing in Vermont, Waterbury is actually not too shabby a destination. It's a 4-minute drive (literally) from the aforementioned Ben & Jerry's factory, a 3-minute walk from the Green Mountain Coffee factory and the Lake Champlain Chocolate factory, as well as 20 minutes from downtown Burlington. In Waterbury itself, Grand View Winery offers wine tastings, and the Vermont Brewers Association will set you up with a tour. As I mentioned, of course, it is home to the delightful Bridgeside Books and the Stagecoach Inn for brunch. The Waterbury reservoir has a gorgeous walk through Little River State Park, and there is, of course, the requisite jam-packed antique store and town pub (The Alchemist).

Obviously I went to Vermont and got evangelized. Sigh. Wake up, city girl! But it IS a very nice weekend.

If you DO drop by, tell her Moonrat said hi.

But, But, What Happenes to Us Now?! (Or, the End of the Long Affair)

One of my beloved authors called me the other day. Her book is pubbing shortly.

"How are ya?" she asked.

"Good," I said. "So, is there anything I can help you with?"

"No, I was just calling to say hi, see how you are. We haven't talked in a long time; I wanted to see how everything's going with you." She paused. "So, this is weird, right? We talked everyday, sometimes several times a day, for months and months, and...what, it's over? Do you authors just go away after the copy edit's over? Do your lives just drift apart?"

Well, not exactly. Frequently I am involved in the publicity process (being the anal-retentive control freak micromanager that I am, I am often VERY involved, much more than my poor publicity department might wish me to be). But publicity plans are often meandering and inchoate--we try to book everything for when the book first hits, but (in a good situation) they wander on indefinitely, the author continuing to book gigs, sometimes reviews even popping up months or years after publication (the internet has changed that for us, and for the better of the book and reading public, I think).

But all this means that there is no concrete end to our author/editor relationship. In fact, what was a passionate, creative, perhaps at periods difficult or cantankerous but most certainly at points emotional affair basically piddles to a non-contact point without so much as a denouement (bad plot structure!!!). I have 1800 other projects coming up, so naturally I forget about you--not in a mean way--and in theory, you have a life to get back to. But how odd, when I think about you a couple months later, and you are no longer an active part of my life. How bittersweet.

Actually, I have a backlist of authors, even ones I don't work with anymore and can't imagine working with again--perhaps they only intended to write one book, or another company bought them for a lot of money, or I no longer publish what they write--but still miss. I send most of them holiday cards, if I have their current address, and keep track of the ones who have Facebook (you know how I am about Facebook). But it is still a sad and anticlimactic parting.

What about on your end? Any authors here want to comment on their relationships with their editors after the publication window is over? Do you keep the love alive, or does it drift away?

Accelerated Reader

Has anyone ever heard of Accelerated Reader, the tool for awarding "points" to books for children? This NYT article is the first I'd heard of it--but how crazy! This makes me, well, sad, from the select examples in the article. But maybe it's something for competitive types to compete for--maybe it helps, in its place. Any thoughts? How about all my kidlit experts?

blue Wednesday?

Check this out. Guaranteed to brighten--or at least confuse--any day.

Via my dear friend Frank.

Gravity's Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon (Rainy September)

Hi all! A bunch of people from Twitter and Fill-in-the-Gaps are going to be trying to help one another through the formidable tome that is Gravity's Rainbow, 1974 National Book Award winner and the book the New Republic called "The most profound and accomplished American novel since the end of World War II." As importantly, Lisa Simpson is a huge fan.

Now if you, like us, have always wished you had read Gravity's Rainbow so you could know what all the fuss is all about, but know you would never, ever get through the thing on your own, here's your chance! We have daily page goals, weekly check-ins on Mondays, and, I've heard a rumor, real, live book club gatherings at certain hot spots with enough readers. Said gatherings will probably include wine and/or cupcakes.

Here's your cordial invitation--starting this week, I'll keep a sidebar up with page counts through the end. I'll post a quick update here each Monday, along with any announced regional gatherings I've heard about. Obviously, the more people who join, the more fun and gatherings there will be. Leave me a comment and/or shoot me an email at moonratty@gmail.com if you want to play or suggest a meet-up.

Page counts are designed to be manageable--about 70 pages a week, or 10 pages a day. This way, you can read faster if you like, or you can still have time for other (perhaps lighter) reading, as well. (Since the book has no chapter breaks, the page counts are taken from the Penguin Classics edition, the only one currently in print.)

Here's the Rainy September (and October, and November) schedule:



Monday, September 21: through page 70

Monday, September 28: through page 140

Monday, October 5: through page 210

Monday, October 12: through page 280

Monday, October 19: through page 350

Monday, October 26: through page 420

Monday, November 2: through page 490

Monday, November 9: through page 560

Monday, November 16: through page 630

Monday, November 23: through page 700

Monday, November 30: through page 776, and PARTY!

Robert the Publisher's Gem of the Day

Sales Manager: We need really awesome blurbs to make this one work. We should get T.C. Boyle, Umberto Eco, and Saul Bellow, definitely.

RtP: You got it. I can get those.

Publicist: Saul Bellow is dead.

Sales Manager: He is?

RtP: Yes, he died about 4 years ago. But I can still get a blurb from him.

[Robert's got friends in HIGH places, apparently.]

news smatterings and entertaining things

What do you guys think of this? A new Twilight-esque cover gets Emily Bronte onto the UK bestseller list. (via Sarah Weinman)

Click here to see a truly perfect photo Maud Newton took on her walk home. For any of those spoilsports who keep shouting that reading is dead.

Tor editor Patrick Nielsen Hayden talks about ebooks and the future of publishing (focusing on sff). Much of what he says is stuff you guys have already read 1,500 times, since we're internet babies here. But I'd like to highlight a particular statement of his:

io9: Does it make a difference to you if an author has an online reputation? Does that go into your decisions to acquire books?

PNH: Obviously it makes a difference if an author has a public online profile of some sort, even just down to the level of having a moderately popular blog. Most books sell 5, 10, or 15 thousand copies. Most are midlist books. With those people, even a modest online presence can make a difference in sales.

So cheers to everybody here, since you're here because you're working on developing an online platform.

Here, MJ Rose presents her idea for revolutionizing how authors get paid, vis a vis how much (time and money) authors are expected to spend on their own promotion. Her major points are that authors not have to "earn out" the upfront money publishers pay as an advance but then which authors are expected to spend on their own promotion--wouldn't it be more honest if promotional money fell into a different category, something that didn't need to be earned out? (Back to my idea for marketing agreements instead of/alongside advances.) Also, she suggests that royalty percentages be higher if authors are expected to be their own advocates.

Yeah, I work in a house, and yeah, I don't imagine in the mainstream publishing industry much like this is going to change soon, but--yeah, I agree with you, MJ.

That's it for now. Thoughts?

the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Hi, my name is Moonrat, and I am addicted to The Wheel of Time.

I had racked up a good 12 years of Wheel of Time sobriety--minus a mini-relapse in 2003, when I confess I reread books 1 and 2 but stopped myself there. But I'm afraid I've fallen off the bandwagon, good and hard this time.

Furthermore, my home environment is not conducive to recovery from this dreadful disease. My entire nuclear family, minus Momrat (who sniffs contemptuously at all things epic fantasy), is reading or rereading it with me. Right now, it's a competition of who gets to Book 4 (The Shadow Rising, obvi) first. And I am sorely behind, as I am the only one who doesn't own book 2! No more waiting for my brother or sister to finish--I must get my own copy and plow ahead!!

Now here's the thing about reading, in general. I read a lot (maybe you guessed?). And I've always felt I derived great cerebral pleasure from reading high-minded books I could brag about later, hoity-toity inaccessible classics and literary masterpieces that the New Yorker writes about. Or whatever.

But. BUT. The Wheel of Time is not like that (and this is something I'd forgotten in the last 12 years). The Wheel of Time is something I'm literally dying to read, desperate to read, sitting all day at my desk editing furiously so the time between now and 6:30 pm might come sooner! So that I can scurry home and flop on my bed and read until midnight, then wake up at 6:30 the next morning and squeeze in another two hours of reading before I have to leave for work! (Bathing be damned!)

Oh, the tragedy, the passion, the human drama! With the magic and the wars and yeah, some occasional crappy writing, but for the most part nothing so bad I can't turn off the inner editor saying, "Eek, maybe you should strike this para?" I am SUBMERGED. Nothing else matters anymore; nothing!

I know I'm not alone. This is a friendly forum here--you can trust and come forward. (Haters of WoT will be lovingly mocked, as you have lovingly mocked us in the past!)

Memories of Vermont

So, as perhaps I mentioned, I was recently in Vermont for one of my very exciting reunions with my high school girlfriends. Now Vermont has one major detraction--the giant spider that scurried out of my pants Sunday morning--but otherwise seems to be a freakishly idyllic place full of flowers, dairy products, and people wearing bright colors. Also, neighbors say HI to each other, as do--shudder--strangers! Hard for me to wrap my head around, but... what's the word. Oh yeah, NICE.

One major NON-detraction of Vermont turned out to be the Ben & Jerry's factory, a 4-minute drive from my friend's house. Tours are $3 and include a LARGE free sample of ice cream. For others with non-ice cream tastes, there is also the Magic Hat Brewery, the Cabot Cheese Factory, and the Green Mountain Coffee Factory, all of which can be toured.

My favorite part of the Ben & Jerry's tour was the Flavor Graveyard. The headstones--there were probably 20 or 25 total--were hilarious. It was also my least favorite part of the tour, because some of the dead flavors sounded pretty delicious.

My People weep that the Holy Cannoli was discontinued.


I love sweet potato pie. I'm not sure if it would be a great ice cream flavor, but this sure makes me curious to try...


Plum favored ice cream... yum. With caramel swirl? Humm. (This one only lasted two weeks, apparently.)


Raisins I don't like. But look how long this one lasted!!


How could this one have gone away?! I don't understand!!!

my friend just let me read her terrible novel! what do I do?

This Salon article had me in giggles--until I thought hard about it. Yelp! What if all my friends think this about every book I work on and then make them read?!? Eep! I'll never know!!

Overall advice--"refusing to comment has value." And also may not totally decapitate your friendship. But eep! Seriously. Does being a good friend maybe also include being honest? We all have so much difficulty judging our own work objectively... if our friends can't tell us the truth, who can?

just finished reading

A Short History of Women, by Kate Walbert. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

things the rally monkey says

RM: Hey, my buddy wants to meet some girls, and I thought maybe you could help.

YT: Me?! How could I help?

RM: Well, he's a bookish guy, so I thought I'd go to the night crawler of bookworms.

[I kinda like that!]

Love Note to Borders

Dear Borders,

I read this on Pimp My Novel. Then I cried a little bit.

I just wanted to take a moment out of my day to tell you I love you, Borders. I've always had strong feelings for you, back since, like, high school. And sure, I have relationships with lots of local indies--I never claimed to be monolibrous--but you're the only retailer I've ever worked at, and my special feelings for you run very deep.

I know that your booksellers are book people, and so many of them work for you because they get great joy out of sharing the books they love with other people. I know that you have fiction buyers who have resolutely continued to take chances on new and literary fiction even in the spiraling economy (gosh, I hope you're not being punished for THAT, because you've sure supported some of my books). I also know that I believe it's really, really important that there not be only one big chain retailer of ANY kind of media--it goes against my principles--and that I panic for your welfare on behalf of society as well as out of nostalgia.

I also know I can't single-handedly keep you in business (although it might seem like I'm trying, what with how many times I've been in there with coupons lately). But I just wanted to drop you a note and say I'm rooting for you, hard.

Love,

Moonrat

what a week.

This just in, from my assistant:

Click here.

About sums it up.

Robert the Publisher's Gem of the Day

RtP: So if we tell the accounts we're printing 30,000, that means we're planning on printing 10,000. It's a multiple of 3.

Sales Assistant: So... You just make up a number that's three times higher than your print run?

RtP: Yes. We lie to the sellers, the sellers lie to the accounts, the accounts lie to the consumers, and everyone knows everyone else is lying, so we can't break the habit. The whole publishing industry is based on lies.

Sales Manager: No, Robert. It's not based on lies. It's based on fiction.

Package!

I am currently reading Kate Walbert's very hotly reviewed new book, A Short History of Women, whose front cover is depicted here. My review of the book will come later, but for the time being I can't resist commenting on the package!

When I say "package," I mostly mean the jacket, although there are a couple of other contributing factors (the board and binding paper color choices, the page cut, the dye on the spine). Now package is something a publishing professional can't help but oo and ah over when they see a new book. I have learned, from experience, that the first thing NORMAL people say when they pick up a new book isn't "Wow, check out the spot lamination on the cover; I wonder how they made those tiny letter legs so shiny? Must have been a real precision cast." Yeah, in fact, it seems that a lot of people don't even know or care what spot lamination is. (Or the difference between embossing and debossing, or between foil and metalic ink.)

But in the case of a book like A Short History of Women, I can't help but believe that even the uninterested will take note of the package. The jacket designer--a Rex Bonomelli--did what I consider a bang-up job of cover concept. You can see here: he made use of the repeated O in each word--shOrt histOry of wOmen--to stick in a cast of a period hairstyle, thereby reflecting the cascade of generations in the book. Clever, clever device, in a treatment that's otherwise all type, no reliance on a backdrop image or a particular color. The cover is spare, open, and interesting--unusual and memorable, I thought. Furthermore, Scribner's chose a delicate and effective (I think) spot lamination treatment on the front cover, so all the words are shiny if you look closely. This is an expensive effect--it adds between one and four cents to the cost of each copy of the book, which is a lot more significant than it sounds--but in this case I feel well worth it.

But even beyond the cover concept, our friend Rex Bonomelli still had some tricks up his sleeve. If you're able to check out a physical copy of the book next time you're in a book store, pick one up. First notice the spine--even if this book were turned sideways, only a single copy present in a bookstore, the spine would be eye-catching. Rex has included the three head motif here in miniature. Now flip over to the back cover. Notice the design element of the red hatch marks--and how they recur on the inside flaps. Now on to those flaps--normally, flaps are just blank space filled with text. Rex has actually amplified the flap text--both the book description and the author photo and bio--with tasteful and complementary design elements, a rounded frame and echoing red hatch marks. Although much of the jacket is white space, and only three colors are used, the creative design elements are smart, interesting, and decorative even where you don't expect them to be.

(Interestingly and sadly, from a practical standpoint perhaps white was not the best color decision for the background, and perhaps why we don't see spare, simple covers like this--I have been unable to find any pristine copies in any of my daily bookstore truckling; most copies have at least a little smudge.)

I do wonder (in this case, as in every case) what the author thought of the cover design. Kate Walbert, did you love it immediately? Did you imagine something different? Did it grow on you? Was your absolute favorite design totally ruled out by the marketing team?

Do you guys have any all-time favorite cover and/or jacket treatments? Do you tend to noticed things like the effects, the spine, the flaps? What about things like lamination on the cover, or embossed titles?

Contest!!

Ok, not here. Maybe I'll have a contest soon (I've been cogitating some ideas of General Awesomeness). But Backspace Agent-Author Seminar, a New York writers' conference, is holding a contest for two scholarships to this year's conference. Check out details here. And hey, if you end up coming to New York, drop me a line--I know where ALL the best karaoke bars are.

Which reminds me. SHOULD I have a contest? Are those kinds of things still popular these days? I haven't done one in... more than a year, actually.

seven things about me

I'm feeling self-indulgent! So. A meme!

1. My father named me. My mother had a name picked out--it was Matthew, FYI--but then she was so "surprised" I was a girl she passed out on the delivery table. My dad went and named me something my mother had categorically ruled out earlier because her best friend had named her daughter something similar the year before (but my father believed--correctly, it turned out--my mother secretly still wanted to use that name). So everything worked out, and wrath was not exercised upon my father. No one is sure where my dad came up with my middle name, though. Not even my dad.

2. One of my (living) authors was a character in a movie! As in, another person played MY AUTHOR in a movie! And a movie you might have seen, too!

3. I hate shopping. Trying on pants makes me cry. No exaggeration. A fearless few have put their lives on the line to try to take me clothes shopping, for my own good, when my wardrobe gets really raggedy. Most of them have survived, but few without deep psychological and/or physical scarring. It ain't purdy.

4. I have a dream for my distant future. Others want to be astronauts; this is my pie-in-the-sky fantasy: I own a lovely, spacious, old-fashioned looking cafe with a nice wooden floor. We serve caffinated beverages, sandwiches, and many kinds of pie and brownies. Possibly also wine in the evenings, but I haven't decided. We also host open mic nights and writer workshops a night or two a week. My cafe, of course, sells books. The walls are lined with bookshelves, and all the books on them are books I've already read, so that I can make personal recommendations to anyone (this is why I'm trying to read so many books now!) (well, one reason). AND in the back of my cafe is my independent book publishing company, which I run during normal business hours. It's only me and 2 or 3 other people, because I'm a total control freak and want to run every aspect of publication. But the press is gradually growing in reputation, and we get lots of great review coverage. We have a blog, of course.

5. I have named my kitchen mouse Sylvester Antonio. The Rally Monkey has vowed to kill Sylvester Antonio. It is an epic war, and so far Sylvester Antonio has won every battle. (I'm secretly rooting for him.)

6. I have very, very high hopes for one of my fall books. Please, please, please, buy as many copies as you can and tell all your friends; it's freakin' awesome, and will change the world. (Sigh. So much for blog as marketing tool.)

7. I wake up every morning all excited to go to work. What a dork. A lucky dork.

Ok, now your 7! drop your link in a comment if you decide to play.

FESS UP.

Who nominated me for the BBAW Best Publishing/Industry blog? WHO??!?!?!?

COME FORTH!! For I WILL find you!!!

::thanks::

agent follow-ups

Yesterday, someone left me a comment on a back post about agent follow-ups, but I wanted to answer more publicly, since we haven't talked about this particular issue in awhile.

If you've been around here a long time, you know my stance on agent proactivity. Different agents have different strategies for following up with editors, and, frankly, some of these strategies are really, really ineffective.

Here's the thing: editors have developed a habit of hiding their heads in the sand. I can speak on behalf of not all editors, but most. We have so much work--so many deadlines to meet in-house, and so many proposals and manuscripts to read--that if an agent doesn't follow up about a manuscript there is a 9/10 chance we're not going to read it (certainly not going to buy it).

When an agent doesn't follow up, they're demonstrating a number of things, the foremost being that they don't EXPECT the book to sell. "Oh nope, this is no hot property, take all the time you need" is the message we get. And honestly, it takes 15 minutes for an editor to know whether they want to read more or not--not 4 months, or 6 months. Sure, we need a kick in the pants to pick the manuscript up. But if you wait 4 or 6 months to give us that kick in the pants, we'll never, ever, ever get herded into, say, auction on that book.

Furthermore, let's think about this from a practical standpoint. My assistant vets each of my proposals as they come in, and flags ones she thinks I should prioritize because they look interesting. Even if I haven't READ your proposal per se, my assistant and I have already both thought about it in terms of where it might fit (or not) on my list. Say I know right away when a proposal comes in that it's not a good fit. Am I going to pick up the phone and cold-call your agent and be like, "Yeah, no"? Umm, no. As a head-hiding editorial type, I flee confrontation on pain of death. Am I going to *seek out* an uncomfortable rejection phone call? Uh, no. So if you don't call me and ask, you're never going to hear my simple answer one way or another.

Can you blame me? Seriously? I mean, who here ENJOYS saying no to salespeople?

Furthermore, there is a particular type of agent whose business MO is the famous "throw-it-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks" technique. That means they take on tons of stuff that may or may not sell, preferring to take a risk on an unusual book than not give it a shot. The catch is that these agents tend to put less work in per title--survival mechanism; how else would they get their work done? This scheme works a lot better for nonfiction, where proposals are concept-driven, than it does for fiction, where drum-tight prose and very particular editor targeting with a pitch are key. The bad 'uns among this lot are the worst culprits for never, ever, ever following up. Often, I quietly feel bad for their authors. Bad enough to face unsolicited conversation by picking up the phone and rejecting the book (if I even remember to)? Uh, no. Sorry. My comfort over yours. I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I get tons and tons of novel manuscripts--tons. I get probably 100 manuscripts (or more) for every novel I acquire. Not exaggerating--when I'm at work later, I'll check my submission log for exact numbers, but I remember pretty well where I was at last time I looked. Also, I know where I'm at: since I work at an indie, I'm hardly the top of the totem. I'm usually on either second or third round submissions, depending on what the novel is about. That means that editors higher up on the totem probably get 2 or 3 times as many submissions as I do--every agent is pitching every literary debut at a particular handful of editors (I could probably tick off their names here). Those poor ladies and gents are also getting hit up by the bum agents who try casting everything at the wall to see what sticks, and then never follow up. Only they have to see a lot MORE of that stuff. So of COURSE I wouldn't blame them for not replying.

As for an agent who tells you that an editor hasn't responded, that's as good as a pass: you have one of two situations here. Either you have a lousy agent, who never followed up, or you have a disorganized and rude editor, one you don't want to end up working with, anyway. The reason I say this is because, as mentioned above, when it comes down to it, it only takes 15 minutes to know whether we want to read more--longer, obviously, if we do, to consider the book, but still--and it's very easy to formulate a polite and helpful rejection letter that helps the agent understand why you're passing.

Yes, situations differ depending on your genre, as certain genre editors have their own traditions. And as I said, I can't speak on behalf of all editors--only most.

What does this mean for you? I know this sounds TOTALLY CRAZY--especially to authors who have been struggling to secure representation for a long time--but ask your prospective agent what their submission plan is like before you commit to working with them. Also, ask if you can call some of their other clients as references (or look up other clients on the internet and see whether they have glowing things to say, and/or whether this agent is well stocked on Publishers Marketplace deal searches, which are not always representative but can be of use). You DON'T have to commit to an agent just because they're offering representation. And I promise--a bad agent is MUCH, much worse than not submitting your book at all. If an agent submits badly, not only does it mean your book isn't going to get read or bought now, it means it probably never will. In publishing, you can't cross the same bridge twice.

Ok, rant over. Pant pant. Please consider the floor open.

Poll!

Since so many Australian friends have surfaced the last couple of days, I'm now dying to know where everybody is! Hence this nifty poll gadget.

Maybe if this turns out to be fun, we can establish a weekly poll thing. Next week's: perhaps "what's your favorite kind of pie."

Which of these best describes your personal geographic and cultural association?

United States

Canada

Australia

New Zealand

United Kingdom

South Africa

Ireland

Other

Please Specify:

ugg slippers

more nerdporn for word lovers!

Debbie at HarperStudio put up this droolable visual post last Friday with all kinds of art made out of words and books. I only stole one of her examples; it's a Saatch & Saatchi ad, so I figured no one would mind if I copied it. But check out the Book House! Or the page sheets! The octopus!

I know, you've probably seen Matt dance already.

But Dadrat just discovered Matt yesterday and sent me the link, and I watched it again and it made me cry again (as we know, I'm very sappy) so I thought I'd post it again.

Where is Matt? 2008

In case you haven't seen Matt yet, either, hope this brightens your day!

Our Friends Down Under (Or, Don't Forget Oz)

Got this note:

Dear Moonrat,

Yay! I have a publishing contract in hand! Unfortunately I don't have an agent to help me negotiate, and I'm a little confused about some of the clauses and whether I have a right to argue them. For example, it says here that they have the right to publish in Australia, New Zealand, and the Philippines as well as the US and Canada. I never agreed to that--should I question it?

Thanks,

XXX

Ok, well, first off, I can't help but restate my position on agents (coming from one of the publishers that wants to nickle and dime you to death, please take this as precious advice that I offer at my own expense). If you are an unagented author, even after you get an offer from a publishing company, it's not too late to involve an agent to negotiate on your behalf. Agents call it a "smash and grab" deal--they have to smash into what you've got and grab back what they can. But they almost always earn their 15%.

But anyway, back to Oz. Territory (where a company has the right to publish your book) is a critical component of your deal, one of the three biggest points (the other two being advance and royalties). So you're right to value this piece of the contract.

That said, as an unagented author, it's difficult to imagine a scenario in which you'd be able to sell these rights internationally on your own. Remember how difficult it was to get an offer from a publisher in your home country? It's 600 times harder (approximately) to get a deal unagented in a foreign country, where you don't even have citizenship as a piece of your platform.

In this case your best bet is to let your publishing company have those rights, so at least they'll have an opportunity to try to sell them. (This brings me back to why you want an agent, since an agent could try to sell these rights for you.) Don't take my word for it, and assess your own situation, but ultimately wouldn't you rather have your book available in those territories, even as an export, than not available at all, because your publishing company doesn't have a right to sell copies there?

But let's talk more specifically about Australia and New Zealand (ANZ). Our publishing friends down under don't like to be forgotten by the rest of the English speaking world, as they occasionally are. To protect them from being forgotten, they have a law that says British and American publishers only have 30 days from the pub date of a book to work out their distribution schedule in ANZ. If UK and US publishers neglect to work this out, a book is closed out of that market.

Brits tend to forget their Commonwealth friends less frequently than Americans (shame on us), but it's something our rights departments need to keep in mind, and a reason we need to try to place Commonwealth sales as early as possible--ie months before the pub date. (Please cf last week's post on delivering on time--here's another reason not to be late with your finished manuscript.)

But to my friend who wrote here--I'd say don't sit on ANZ rights thinking you can do better elsewhere; if you run out of your 30 days, your book may never be sold in ANZ at all.

Sunday morning video

Check out Wendy's classic (50s/60s/70s) commercials! My favorite by far is the first one--the horror movie soundtrack! I don't think they should EVER let women drive!

oh boy.

I'm always the last to hear! It's been everywhere else already, but that makes me no less excited that our ol' buddy Kiersten has just scored herself a giant three-book deal from HarperTeen in a pre-empt that rocked New York publishing this week!! Her debut novel, PARANORMALCY, will be coming out in Fall 2010.

Why are you still here? Run off to her blog and squee with her!

leading indicators a particular agent is a hack #472

A line from an actual query letter (details fudged, of course):

"...As author Susan Smith embarked on my journey to discover her ancestors' path to America..."

Nice, "agent" "Sharon Sloan." I "totally" believe you.

Nathan's publishing glossary

Nathan Bransford has updated his classic glossary of publishing terms, and as a general reference it is extremely pleasing.

To get nitpicky, though--Nathan, re: your definition of editors: I do NOT live in Brooklyn, FYI. Also, I have met at least one other editor who did not live in Brooklyn. Although since that time she has moved to Brooklyn. But that's not the point.

deliciousness

I guest blogged today (with some SERIOUS help from Dadrat) over at Cakespy, my longtime blogging buddy. Here's my post on Dadrat's Birthday Peach Crisp recipe.

CakeSpy actually made me original art to go with her post!

just quickly

laugh til you cry:

here

then drool:

here

editing your life

Do you guys read The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotations? You'd think it would get boring after a couple, but... it doesn't. Click through for today's.

Funny (and grammatically incorrect) on two levels. Teehee.

Reasons to Make Your Delivery Date (Or, Please Don't Be Late, Even Though We Always Are)

Ok, I'm having the worst trouble with one of my authors, who went through a minor family problem earlier this summer and who says she's simply not in the right "frame of mind" to finish the last two chapters of her manuscript right now, and she'll get back to me when she's feeling more up to it. (Can I just mention? Her contractual delivery date was May 1, 2009.)

All right, I want to be sympathetic and understanding--I really do!! I'm a compassionate person!! But I'm also compassionately interested in the author's career. (Not to mention my own, which is obviously hinged around the success of this one specific book!!!)

Here are the reasons it's in the author's best interest to make their contractual delivery date, not in any particular order of importance:

1) Long Leads. For those not familiar with this term, it's what magazines require if they're going to review your book. Magazines set their monthly columns well in advance, so if your FINISHED materials aren't at the magazine 5 months in advance, you can kiss any magazine reviews buh-bye.

2. Blurbs. When you have an early completed manuscript, you have time to do a blurb campaign with it--and those can take ages. (Getting famous people to read books=not quite as easy as it sounds.) But hey! Who needs any copy on their book cover? I think those blank covers with nothing but an image or a quote from the author's own introduction are sexy. Totally.

3. Rights Sales. Foreign publishers, especially if you're looking for same-language co-pubs across the Atlantic (eg if I'm looking for a British publisher, or if a British editor is hoping for an American publisher), requires a rough manuscript or submittable materials A YEAR in advance if they want to make a big deal out of things. They'll need a finished manuscript AT ABSOLUTE LATEST 6-8 months before the home country pub date. (I'm not even going into Australia here--that's an even more complicated kettle of fish, and even more of a reason to get stuff in on time--Ozzy friends, I'll come back to you later.) There are also audio, book club, and large print sales, all of which need to be fully executed well in advance, because all of those groups ONLY want to publish simultaneously with the originating publisher. They need your materials SIX MONTHS IN ADVANCE or there's no way they'll take you; competition is simply too steep. But hey! Who wants their book made into an audio book, anyway? Listening to things is stupid. And who wants their book translated into French? No one even likes France, as a whole, I've found.

I should also mention here that rights sales precipitate buzz--meaning, weird as it may sound, a rights sale may get you publicity coverage, or drive review interest. So yeah.... another opportunity maybe not to blow.

4. In-House Interest. If your manuscript is in in a timely fashion, perhaps people at your publishing house besides your editor--your publisher, your publicist, your sales people--will actually have a chance to read it, instead of just talking about it vaguely. Don't you want the people who are selling and publicizing your book to actually know what it's about? Just a thought.

5. Events. Most venues book up FOUR MONTHS in advance. Some book up even earlier. But hey, maybe you didn't want to do any readings, anyway.

6. Pre-pub reviews. There are four pre-pub venues, and I bet even non-book people could name at least one. They are Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Booklist, and Library Journal. They're the definitive sources you see turning up on Amazon and book jackets, and they are what wholesalers, indies, libraries, and distributors use to determine how many copies they're taking well in advance--which majorly affects your print run. And, by the way, they don't consider anything they haven't received FOUR MONTHS in advance. But hey! Who wants to sell to libraries, anyway? Who needs a big print run?

Rar. Ok. I'm down off my little soapbox now. But Author o' Mine, if you're out there reading--please go finish your effin' manuscript, k?

Momrat just called.

She really, really doesn't like one of my forthcoming books. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I just think you should know my honest opinion," quote.

Sigh.

This is the thing--Momrat always gives it to me straight. She's the one person I can count on: if she says she likes (or loves) it, I know she means it. Which gives one confidence in a world where most people are too shy to say negative things to your face!!

But yeah... let's hope other people like this one better than she did.

new cover for LIAR

Yay!! I've been following this saga for awhile--and things have ended happily. If you're not familiar with this issue (a successful YA book about a young woman of color which was marketed and sold in the states with a white-looking woman on the cover) it's definitely worth checking out the PW article, which sums it up. And bloggers, essentially, made this happen. Via my comrade-in-arms Editorial Anonymous.

famous writers can be crankypantses

JacketCopy recently posted this fun short article on 5 famous feuds between/among famous writers. Tolstoy challenged Turgenev to a duel; Hemingway trash-talked Fitzgerald, even though Fitzgerald discovered him; Melville stopped being friends with Hawthorne after the latter got more successful. Vargas Llosa punched Garcia Marquez in the face.

Any surprise? I feel like any profession that mixes up creativity with ego is going to end in silly rivalries.

You guys heard of any other such tasty literary gossip? All the LA Times's examples were male-male rivalries--anyone heard any stories about lady rivalries?

things the rally monkey says

YT: I have to tell you something.

Rally Monkey: Uh oh, what?

YT: I can't type up your poetry anymore.

RM: Why not?

YT: Sylvia Plath typed up all Ted Hughes's poetry, and it stunted her creativity, bled her dry, and killed her.

RM: Well, that's not going to happen to you.

YT: How can you tell?!

RM: Honey, Sylvia Plath put her head in the oven. You don't even know where our oven is.

woe betide us

Someone has forgotten their glasses today.

catcall of the day

Random Guy on Street: God bless you forever, sweetheart. You have the most beautiful eyes.

YT: How would you know?! I'm wearing sunglasses!!

Random Guy: I can just tell.

[better luck next time, buddy.]

boo

One of the other tenants in our office building was really, really mean to me this morning. :(

print runs, for serious here

Argh!! I'm so IRRITATED with everyone in publishing who lies about print runs! Thanks to the Literary Saloon, who exposed this story vis a vis some clever footwork PW did. It's a great example of why LYING about print runs is STUPID.

Harper declared they'd printed 150,000 copies of Jonathan Littell's The Kindly Ones. PW checked Nielsen BookScan--which tells no lies*--and noted that only 17,000 copies of The Kindly Ones have actually sold through in retail. What a monumental overprinting flop! Right? Well, now that there's already soot on their nose, Harper confesses they actually only printed 47,000. They blew the number up by 3. Which... is pretty typical. Real times three.

Why this stupidity? Why?

Well, we talked here about why people want first print runs to be huge. There ARE reasons high print runs (or declared high print runs) are beneficial to a book, but this system is unrealistic and stupid.

Awhile ago, I wrote my opinion of a literary success--the answer I gave was any book that sells more than 7,000 copies. Check out the comments if you're interested--I was surprised to see how many people agreed with me.

Which means the figures we throw around--tens, hundreds of thousands, millions of copies--they're all made up, and make everyone have unrealistic expectations. Nielsen BookScan does indicate to anyone who has access that books that are great successes don't necessarily sell even 10,000 copies. A book that's a success is one that's well-written, well-reviewed, appreciated by its readers, and (ideally) one that earns out its advance. At least, that's my idea of success.

I believe in honesty with my authors and agents (and other people, too). But I HATE the sour notes in conversations when I'm talking to an editor from another house and bragging about a book--they ask how many copies we printed, I proudly say 10,000, and they go, "Oh..." I always forget that we're all trained to blow things up, and that that number sounds ridiculous to them.

Let's break the chain of stupidity, guys. I'm for all honesty, all the time.

*cf Mark Twain: "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics." And Nielsen BookScan. Which represents 65%-70% of sales, usually, depending on the kind of book it is.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Seeking Publication: What's My Category?

This actually happened to me this morning. I feel ok blogging about it, though, because I am 100% certain the agent in question can't possibly read any industry blogs (although out of respect for the author I'm going to replace all the relevant details).

~~~

9:43 am: My phone rings.

YT: [Moonrat] speaking.

Agent: Hi, this is [Agent] from [Agency]. We haven't spoken before, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking a look at a great nonfiction project I'm representing.

YT: Sure. What is it?

Agent: It's called [Title].

YT: Ok. So... um... what is it about?

Agent: Well, it's the story of what it means to be from Appalachia, about the culture there.

YT: Wait, I'm not clear--is this a memoir?

Agent: It's a combination, kind of part memoir, part history, part travel guide, part novel. It's very poetic, but just really good readable nonfiction.

YT: Oh. [Pause.] I'm sorry, I'm still trying to see if it fits my list--which category would you say the book is? Like, which shelf would it be sold on in a bookstore?

Agent: Oh, narrative nonfiction, definitely.

YT: ...Narrative nonfiction?

Agent: Yes, it's a really unique book that really fits into all those categories.

~~~

I'm ending my dialogue rehash here. First, quick caveat--please NEVER say "really unique"--it's grammatically incorrect and makes editorial types cringe. Ok, moving on to more important things.

When I hung up the phone, the only thing I could think to myself was: Has this agent ever been into a book store?

Where did he get the idea that there's a "Narrative Nonfiction" shelf in bookstores?

Although I do think this particular agent's pitch was pretty lousy--I essentially asked three separate times for a category designation, and had to ask what the book was about because he failed to tell me on his own--ultimately I decided to be forgiving. I've worked in publishing long enough to realize that category, while perhaps THE most important question for an editor and his/her sales team, isn't something authors and agents think of automatically when they are writing and pitching. During the writing process, creativity takes over. On my end, we need to be able to squeeze that creativity into one of a finite number of pre-established boxes.

Know going in EXACTLY which shelf your book will be sold on in your neighborhood indie, BNN, or Borders. If the shelf is unclear to you, you're going to need to reshape your project--perhaps not much, but definitely a little.

Here, as elsewhere, I'm not claiming the system is perfect. But stock buyers (here I mean the bookstore owners and corporate buyers, not customers) at the major chains and at many large indies buy by subject. That means that the sales rep from your publishing company needs to talk to one specific designated subject buyer, and convince that one person that your book is worth the precious space in their section and budget. This is why subject-ambiguous books often do not succeed. It is very, very difficult to even sell them into stores.

Caveat: there are SOME subject nuances, and you should work together with your crit group or agent to try to think of what they are. You may think of your book as a romance novel, but perhaps your agent thinks it will do better pitched as commercial women's fiction (yes, they're different things). You may have written a middle grade novel that your agent thinks might be a better YA fit. Or a self-help book that your agent thinks actually would fit better into spirituality (or psychology, or medicine, or nutrition, whatever).

But picking category successfully is a big step toward nailing your book deal, and a good agent is going to make sure you're clearly tagged.

Janet Reid offers an invective on "exclusive" agency submissions

This was very interesting to me, since it's not my end of the business and yet something I know writers have to face. Janet says exclusive agency submissions are bad business, and I believe her.

just finished reading

The Size of the World, by Joan Silber. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

as long as we're posting random people's wedding videos

I get very sentimental. One of these made me cry because it was awesome, the other made me pee my pants laughing. I'm not telling you which is which, though.

Video One
Video Two

Happy Friday! Try not to get married this weekend.

doomed love

Maud Newton wrote the book column at The Week this week--her topic: books of doomed love.

Here were her choices:

Lolita
Les Liaisons Dangereuses
The Black Prince
The Book of Night Women
The End of the Affair
My Name Is Rose

Maud is ever better-read than I; I'm afraid I've only read 2 of those. Lolita, which is *certainly* a tale of doomed love, and Marlon James's Book of Night Women, which is only the best book I've read all year. So it looks like I'm going to have to take her judgment in this (as in all things) and read the others.

In the meantime, here are some of my favorite books of doomed love (which, I should mention, is just about my favorite subject).

The End of the East, Jen Sookfong Lee--Seid Quan spends his entire life working in Vancouver to support his dearly beloved wife in Southern China--and gets to spend almost no time with her. I love this book because it rings so closely to what I know of my (Italian) grandfather's immigrant experience.

Unless, Carol Shields--a really beautiful book about the most doomed kind of love at all: a mother's for her daughter, who is unwilling to accept it or to communicate with her about why.

Waiting, Ha Jin--A deliberately plodding and ultimately mind-blowing story about love between two comrades in communist China who wait--and wait, and wait--for his divorce to come through so they can marry. Sometimes our worst enemy in trying to execute a successful love affair is... ourself.

The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger--This is a story about a couple who is absolutely doomed from the very beginning (seeing as he can't even keep himself chronological) and yet they make it work anyway.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera--A man and a woman who love each other desperately--but he can't stop cheating, and his infidelity tears her apart. From beginning to end.

Kiss of the Spider Woman, Manuel Puig--A passionate, dedicated man and a creative, sensitive woman meant to be together find each other in a prison cell. Alas, the woman is trapped in the body of a man.

The History of Love, Nicole Krauss--I gotta admit, I HATE this book and Nicole Krauss for what she did to me with the ending (no forgiveness!) but her motif of thwarted love--love thwarted forever by unexpected death (this happens at the beginning; I'm not giving away the twist)--is one of the most powerful ideas I can imagine.

What are your favorite books of doomed love?